When I filled out the Proust Questionnaire, and wrote about my experience of being happy, and of the personal wealth that is contained in my recollections of that bliss, I considered the idea that I am rich with memories. Music has been an integral part of several of my core memory events. The invaluable impact of one specific event on my personality, and one that would establish a fail-safe pleasure-trigger for the rest of my life was when I discovered the band Boston.
I was sixteen when I heard song More than a feeling from the band’s first album for the first time.
Spaghetti straps of that year’s fashionable handkerchief blouse on my summer shoulders. Revlon’s Charlie body lotion from Christmas mingling with the sweat from the hot summer night making tiny bursts of glitter all down my arms reflecting the coloured lights flashing high up on the stoep where the others danced. More glitter in the dewy grass that would leave my bum damp in brand new holiday-money white jeans. A boy with curls in his neck and blond hairs on his crossed legs, sitting there in bleached boardshorts that showed the inside of his thigh. Spearmint chewing gum in his mouth just before a kiss that transported tiny chips of candy coating and saliva. On the stoep someone changed the record. Scratch, scratch. And then the song. Oh, that sublime song!
A core memory sets the standard for our future pursuit of happiness, proclaim the pop psychology brigade in the latest TikTok meme that has my feed flooded with videos and photos of people hugging a newborn child or walking the stage in graduation ceremonies. The general understanding is that core memory is the recollection of an ideal moment of bliss that influenced personality and the course of an individual’s life, and formed the basis of their ultimate goal: When were you truly happy? Do more of that; do more things that put you back inside the sensation of that capsule recollection of perfect happiness, the internet lifestyle gurus screech. Core memory is a computer programming term conveniently adopted by the meme-makers of social media, but the scientific application is a bit more complex.
Memory is complicated. Humans make several broad types of memories and these have their own subcategories and can overlap with each other.
Autobiographical memory refers to memories of personal events. They are often a complex blend of semantic memories — long-term memories that represent your general knowledge of the world — and episodic memories – specific episodes from the past. Autobiographical memory is influenced by social interactions and helps inform the “stories of self” which make up our narrative identity – our life story.[i]
This morning it’s everywhere, because of my watching the TikToks, I suppose. Everyone is asking themselves what makes them happy, what they ought to be doing more of in order to give meaning to their lives; something that will alleviate the futility of everything. What would you do if you only had a day/a week/a month to live? What would you do if you could leave your job? Where would you be if money was no object? It’s escapist, distraction, it’s entertainment as therapy. The naysayers scoff that it’s no good, pathetic, that we should discard the past in be in the Now. But I say do it as much as you can, because listening to More than a feeling lifts me whenever I hear it. It’s a pill, an upper.
You can’t step back onto the same dancefloor, but I believe you may be able to keep the beat, and that you ought to revisit frequently. It’s medical science. I found clever research that proves that the act of reminiscing is actually a technique that many people use to make themselves feel better[ii]. A trip down memory lane can actually calm you down in stressful situations. While the idea that thinking about positive memories can improve mood and resilience to stress is not a new finding, it is affirming to know that “simply recalling happy memories can combat acute stress at a physical level”[iii]. This is important because “people who tend to calm down physiologically soon after stressful events are generally healthier, both physically and psychologically, over the long term”.
It’s Tuesday, I’m dancing.
[i] https://www.inverse.com/mind-body/are-core-memories-real
[ii] Hyman, L. (2014). Happiness and memory: Some sociological reflections. Sociological Research Online, 19(2) 3. Retrieved from http://www.socresonline.org.uk/19/2/3.html
[iii] Young, E. (2017). New evidence shows the calming power of reminiscing about happy times. The British Psychological Association. Retrieved from https://digest.bps.org.uk/2017/05/12/new-evidence-shows-the-calming-power-of-reminiscing-about-happy-times/
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The trickle of a few notes can blast one right back into a happy space. The noise and the ears carry our strongest remembering, I think.